When it came to planning our micro-wedding, we wanted to enjoy the planning process just as much as we would enjoy the day itself. In my opinion, a wedding isn't a single day, it's an entire season of life and looking at it this way is how we kept the good times rolling. In order to enjoy it, we simplified it.
With that in mind, we sat down with a bottle of wine the week after we got engaged and we did the most romantic thing imaginable...
We made lists.
The first list outlined what parts of the wedding day we were the most excited about. Of course, we were excited about the entire event but we restricted ourselves to only including three items which would allow us to focus in on what we felt would be most impactful.
(1) we wanted plenty of time/space to relax with family/friends
(2) a very personalized ceremony
(3) all the food
The second list we created prioritized where we should invest our money, and was also restricted to three items. Anything that wasn't on this list, we told ourselves, must be a budget purchase. Ideally something secondhand, free, or on sale. Our investment list was as follows:
(1) location
(2) photography
(3) decor
We'd set our wedding budget before we began planning and applied it to the second list in descending order - the largest % of our wedding budget would fall to our location and the smallest % of our wedding budget would be spent on decor.
Now for phase 2...
We respect the lists.
Once we finalized our lists, we evaluated them. What did they have in common, what did they they not include, and how could we "cut corners" to avoid common stressors?
For us, we felt like the first item on both lists were essentially the same so we moved forward booking our location. We found a few Airbnb's that we considered, but ultimately the ceremony space is what became the deciding factor. When selecting a location, you have to keep in mind that it isn't just a vacation or a party, it's a wedding, so the ceremony is a great place to start when planning.
Here are some things to keep in mind when considering a ceremony space in an atypical location:
- outdoors is always easiest
- Is there an outdoor area large enough and accessible for your ceremony + all guests
- is that space away from loud noises (cars, roads, playgrounds, etc)
- is that space clean visually (essentially, is it pretty? if it's not, you can always fix this with a backdrop so this is not a deal breaker at all, but definitely something to keep in mind)
- if you must move indoors for weather or any other reason, can you?
- is there a ceremony space large enough for all guests, a moving photographer, and is it accessible (indoors typically means more cramped so more challenging to maneuver)
- are there plenty of windows for good natural light
- are the walls flash-friendly (exposed wood is MUCH more of a challenge than white walls)
- if you are having your ceremony inside, will you still have space for a cocktail hour, mingling, dinner set-up, etc.
- is the space visually "clean" (uncluttered, no TV in the background, etc)
We also noted that food was on both lists, so that helped us decide that the dining experience would be a great focal point for our evening. We wanted it to be relaxed yet elevated, cozy and fun. We ultimately decided on one large table for all 25 of us so that all guests felt equal and to help facilitate mingling.
We covered the table with white cloths and lined it with pine boughs picked from my parent's yard, taper candles and rented lamps dotted down the center. We added personal notes for each guest at their assigned seat and we also made questionnaires for our guests to see who knew us best while everyone enjoyed cake (there were prizes on the line for this one!). We ate buffet style with food just out in the kitchen and in the end it felt very relaxed, like any typical family get together.
Everything else that hadn't gotten a special call out on our lists became essentially heavily budgeted or DIY. We got deeper and deeper into planning and made mood boards. We took our own engagement photos and printed invites ourselves. We bought our outfits from various stores on clearance, made our own playlists, wrote our own vows, had a friend officiate and some family members do our hair and makeup. We rented a karaoke machine which served us well during our 'reception', my parents gifted us the food (delicious Alabama BBQ for dinner and a supermarket cake for dessert).
In the end, our day was beautiful. We filled it with personal touches and champagne which was ultimately the dream. We left out parts of a typical wedding that didn't interest us, such as speeches or first dances, and overall we thoroughly enjoyed the planning process. We were overwhelmingly happy with everything turned out - it was chaotic, it was exciting, it was creative and it totally unique, and I would do it all over again the exact same way.
